Today has been very emotional for me. A lot of guilt has manifested. I have cried and prayed for help. The hunger is gone. I have a mild headache but I do not have to take a painkiller (not that I would on a water fast). I guess I might have cheated a little today as I have been drinking elderflower and ginger cordials, which does contain sugar. I have read that if the body receives a little hint of taste then ketosis stops and the body believes that it will be fed. However, the hunger has staved off. It is so much easier on this water fast than the 6-day water fast I attempted in 2011, of which I only got to five days.
A thing about me that you have to understand is that I set very high goals and if I do not complete them, I feel a failure. This 14-day water fast is a very high standard that I have set for myself, and part of me knows that I will fail. I feel like the Holy Spirit has given me this guidance in an attempt to finally heal myself. I have been 4 days off the Prozac, and so far so good. I still have no sex drive. No horny thoughts driving through my mind causing me to want to make an afternoon video of my masturbating for my lover. I have read that Prozac remains in the system for a very long time. In fact, a three-month dose of Prozac can create benefits in the body that last nine months. Very scary indeed.
I thought about food a lot today, but healthy foods. I can’t wait to have a glass of carrot and beetroot juice, and follow this with cherry tomatoes – I love how they effortlessly burst to leave their delicate flavour – and mashed carrots and swede (without Lurpak), but lots of black pepper.
My diet has been poor over the past few months. I need a helping hand. Fasting will help me to do that. I am doing this fast in an attempt to reduce my anxiety, stop my compulsions, and help my depression. To be honest, Prozac isn’t a helpful aid for OCD (well it certainly hasn’t been for me). It has caused me to waste time picking my skin, and then the overwhelming anxiety that I have to write my articles comes back to haunt me and tell me I’m a failure again. Well I’m fucking sick of this mad cycle of shame. Something has to end. Either the depression will be the end of me, or perhaps I can give up food for two weeks and perhaps see how potent water fasting is.
I have to be honest. I have not lost a drastic amount of weight. Juice fasting causes more weight loss, but I want to extreme detox and I am attempting this. Holy shit, food smells so good. Every time I walk to the fridge for the water filter, I am hit with beautiful scent of garlic and the cloves have not even been crushed.
I have had a mild headache today and rested lots. I’ve needed more sleep during these past two days of the fast. It is important that we give our body time to rest during a fast. The body is taking time out of digesting food. I am hoping that my Candida will finally disappear, although I have had a glass of elderflower cordial, which contains sugar. I am no longer having non-sugar varieties of cordial that contains aspartame. I’d rather have the real sugar rush.
I want to work through my pissed off attitude to life. I am hitting companies left right and centre with administrative charges, but it is not quite as easy going through the court system to reclaim monies for your time. So far, I’ve not won, but there has to be a way. Now I’ve written my own terms and conditions, which state the charges. Perhaps this will help me win my first case. Hell, if everyone could obtain administrative charges for waiting on hold and correcting errors, there would be no need for theft. It’s common sense, and we need to think about legal ways to make money in these crazy economic times. I have been using the accepted for value concept on several companies, including HMRC, United Utilities, Scottish Power, EDF Energy, T-Mobile, and Sky. I have been successful with all of these companies, although they don’t bother to send the instruments back – the remittance slip which is a credit not a debit – so the debt is paid according to s43 of the Bills of Exchange Act 1882. In fact, I’ve had to issue an N1 claim against T-Mobile for cutting off my service and not returning the instruments, as specified in my letter. Do these greedy monsters not even read the literature that customers send? For all I know, T-Mobile have been paid three times, with the remittance slip, my promissory note, and through my debit card payment. There are so many liars in this world that I need to see evidence that the instruments have not been cashed, and some chief executive woman telling me what she believes to be ‘her truth’ is not the truth. What baffles me is that most of these companies will not state the truth under penalty of perjury and unlimited liability. What do they have to hide?
So I have all of this anger fuelling my adrenaline. I can’t seem to stop and I hope this fast helps me to disperse all of this pissed off energy to realise that people need to learn about what they are doing, especially in the financial industry. Selling products that cannot be explained is a worrying thought. This video is great at displaying that.